Same ol' story - at least for me and the movies

Same story - Version ONE:
Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope. We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you. I think I've figured it out. Remember when I went out with that notary public and he cheated on me and then Anastasia from upstairs told me about how her boyfriend cheated on her in the beginning then he totally changed and now they're married and crazy in love? I thought that guy was a process server. No notary. Anyway my point is, Anastasia is the exception, not the rule. We have to stop listening to these stories because the rule is most guys who cheat on you up front don't really care about you very much. Ok. Ok, Ok. Exhibit A. Chad the drummer who lived in a storage space. He only used me for rides and yet I continued to stalk him for most of 1998. Then oh, um, there was Don, that broke up with me every Friday so that he could have his weekends free. I was delusional about that relationship. I used to refer to him as my husband to random people, like my dental hygienist. Anyway, all my friends used to tell me about how things might work out with these dipsticks because they knew someone, who knew someone, who dated a dipstick just like mine. That girl ended up getting married and living happily ever after. That they're exception and we're not the exception we're the rule. If a guy treats you like he doesn't give a shit, it's because he doesn't give a shit.
Same story - Version TWO:
How do I always end up with the "bad guy?" Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time he does something that tells you he's no good, you ignore it. And every time he comes through and surprises you, he wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that he's not for you. Exactly, and on top of that there's the old standby, I can't believe a guy like that would actually be with a girl like me. I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

P.S. These are both quotes from movies - and my life...how funny. Oh, less these had happy endings...yeah forgot about that part. These are the kind that keeps our hope alive. lol.

Victory, Tragedy, Defeat - In APA format!

This is a post for all you...I thought you might be able to take something away from this lesson...if heeded closely. It doesn't come from some wise sage philosopher...just plain ol' me, but words of wisdom nonetheless. It can be applied to so many facets of our lives. Which popular contemporary stories would fall under the category of victory, defeat, comedy, or tragedy? Is there any inherent value to these accounts? Under the category of victory I would place my mentor, Hazel McCallion, the mayor of Mississauga in Ontario, Canada. "Hurricane Hazel" has maintained her 11 consecutive terms with 92% of the vote. I don't think any politician old or new can beat that. (Anthony, 2009) Under the category of defeat, I would probably think of first the one incident that keeps proverbially following me around, is Howard Dean. It has become known amongst my friends and I, as my "Howard Dean Effect." He was a presidential front runner for the 2004 elections, and because of one seemingly minor equipment malfunction, Howard Dean's political integrity went down the drain. It has been labeled across the nation as the, "I have a scream speech." Having aired it 633 times in three days didn't help his case much either. Through the excessive media coverage it proved a theory that is devastating to any candidate, that he didn't have the temperament to run our country. (Hogan, n.d.) But here's where the effect comes in, he failed to take into account that he was not just rallying his supporters, but talking to the world through the media. And according to Dean, the equipment malfunctions didn't help his case either. He claimed that the volume on the crowd cheering was turned down too low, and his microphone was turned up too high. But in the end, all viewers seen or heard was a screaming Dean. (Hogan, n.d.) For a tragic turn of events in contemporary stories, I think that when in 2003 Bush declared a "Mission Accomplished" on the war on Iraq, and a "victory" against terrorism, was quite devastating to families and friends of service members who are still being sent to this day, seven years later. Especially in hindsight. Bush always had a knack for seemingly not thinking before he spoke. It was never more evident than in this speech he gave at a U.S. camp in the Middle East. (Keen, 2003) For the idea of comedy in contemporary stories, I think that humor can be found in a lot of things. It's all about your perspective, and approach to the subject. Perhaps not all, but most things have some kind of humor in them somewhere. It's all about how you accept to digest the situation.

All of these stories have inherent value to them. Especially Howard Dean's story, with the idea that you never know how you're perceived by someone else, and therefore your actions can be taken seriously out of context. For our former president G.W. Bush, I think we all learned, even some children that were attentive to the two terms he served, I know my daughter learned this - to think before you speak. To make sure that the words coming out of your mouth are what you truly want people to hear, and can be validated with some truth. With the story of the great mayor of Mississauga, it shows we can achieve anything we want to, at any age. The only thing holding us back, is ourselves.

Anthony, George. (Producer). (2009). Rick Mercer Report. [Television series]. Toronto, Canada: Island Edge.
Hogan, Gail. (n.d.). Howard Dean's screaming T.V. blunder. CompleteCampaigns.com. Retrieved from http://www.completecampaigns.com/article.asp?articleid=18/article.asp?articleid=18
Keen, Judy. (2003, June 6). Bush to troops: Mission accomplished. USA Today. Retrieved from http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/iraq/2003-06-05-bush-qatar_x.htm/iraq/2003-06-05-bush-qatar_x.htm

The age old philosophy of forgiving and forgetting...

As I sit here brooding over thoughts in my head, when it should be clear for the week coming ahead...I'm cursed with the mind of a writer, and inspiration hits me at the oddest times - when I should be sleeping. I was thinking of the sage old advice that grandparents pass down to grandchildren, parents pass down to their own, the idea of forgiving and forgetting. But where does the line blur? Is it with the forgiving or the forgetting, and where do the twain meet that it causes problems in relationships?I think back to the one person I knew that had committed one the most heinous crimes...he was the first to come to mind as my computer slowly started booting up - now several are coming to mind. But he was a friend from childhood. He didn't even commit anything against me, it was a crime against someone else, the worst to be committed...murder. I didn't know the person he killed, and it took me a long time to forgive him for committing the crime. I tried not to let it impede our friendship, as it really didn't have much to do with me at the time - or so I let him think. But, in actuality, it had a lot, and when he made that decision to end that person's life, he broke my heart, that he had the capability to commit such an act on another human being. Over time though, I forgave him. But, I've not forgotten. Yet often times I wonder if he were ever back in my life, or if I ever came across him, if I'd be as happy as I was 18 years ago to be around him. Not because so much has changed, or because we are older, or times are different, but because in that one second in time, he took that idea that I had of him away from me. That idea that I never thought he could go that far. A friend once told me, that I shouldn't allow people the knowledge that I was once a dancer before I broke the, well let's just say the 120 pound mark back then, he said it changed the whole image of who he knew me to be. I always argued the point, saying that I had nothing to hide, and that it only made it more of a difference to see how far I'd come, from where I'd been. Because that had been, by far, the lowest point in my life in some respects. And where I was then, it should've made him happy to know that I pulled myself up from the gutter all alone. That I was strong. But that wasn't the problem - and he really couldn't look at me the same, he let it be known that it was a real problem in how he viewed me from that point on, and that I should never tell anyone that information so freely again. (Of course the measly two people who read my blogs, already know this information and knew it before him - so, it doesn't really matter what I write on here!)Could it be the same with my friend that committed murder, and the friend that didn't ever want to know that I had been a dancer - the same idea, but on a different level? That concept of forgiveness and forgetting? Stepping it up a notch and realizing that my father has this, I don't know - severely narcissistic personality - and I do mean to the point of taking it to a disorder. Where does the value of forgiveness and forgetting have a role there? Or with my ex-husband, when forgiveness is only a sign of weakness and an opportunity for more manipulation and abuse? But they say, peace isn't achieved until forgiveness is. Yet all these people in the past really aren't who I need to forgive there is so much in the present that needs tending to - they were just examples for the analogy.However, once you've forgiven, lest you not forget - because fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, fool me a third and I'm just a fool. And although this blog may not make a lot of sense to a lot of people...mine are never meant to do so, if you do get something out of it...HURRAY! If not, just shake your head in confusion....

cause I'm the fool.

Don't need a doctor anymore - just a coroner!

Read an article today about a young girl, 26-years old, that had been depressed for a long time regarding her health and her lack of being able to have children. Although the story was brief, and mainly about the shock of the situation, it didn't go too much in depth about her struggle to find out why she couldn't have children or if there was even a struggle. It also didn't mention her health issues - just depression. I found that very interesting. Most won't find that interesting, since most don't try so hard to convince that we don't know our own bodies than they do. They pawn us off on to the next, who in turn pawns us off onto another, who sends us for test after test, by that time we're so exhausted - some really would rather do just what Kerrie Wooltorton of Norwhich England thought was the best idea. Now of course this is just speculation, but if she was truly at her wit's end...and doctor's didn't do anything to treat any of it, how is that medical justice? Out of three of the articles, one stated that she had done this nine times before - the exact same thing.What, you're probably wondering, right? She swallowed antifreeze, waited three days then checked herself into the hospital with a note that said that if she came in she was only doing so because she didn't want to die alone, she wanted to die comfortably and with people around her. The doctor's never mentioned having consulted a psychiatrist. He consulted the medical director and legal consultants with the hospital - but not a psychiatrist. Stating that the document, not notarized, which granted this took place in England - but according to the articles - their laws are much like our own. Our Living Wills, as they are called, that state what one wants to happen if you are terminally ill or are incapacitated and cannot make medical decisions for yourself, her doctor determined that she was of sound MIND, and BODY to make these decisions. And was allowed to refuse medical treatment. Now when I recently had surgical complications, they had to wait to find a surgeon, which seemed like hours to take, before they could give me anything for pain, as I laid there with my gut hanging wide open, people coming in, changing the fluid soaked dressing every so often - however they couldn't give me anything because I had to be of sound mind - well - and body - I guess that too, is objectionable. Because I had paperwork to sign.But this woman was even further from being of sound mind. I sit and consider, if I was to get tired of dealing with all these health issues, and were do something of this magnitude - they wouldn't let me past the psych ward. We jail doctors for euthanasia. So, how do these doctors and this hospital walks away unscathed?But, what's crazy is that these doctors don't think they've done nothing wrong. They felt that they could've been charged with assault if they saved her life - do they really think they would have lost? And now the patients' family is outraged they didn't notify them or save her - ummmm - which law suit is going to be bigger? And which one is going to be harder to win? And which one cost a life? What is seriously wrong with today's doctors? Seriously? You'd be better off going back to really old school days, running a knife under a hot fire, and doing surgery on yourself - or well - I guess you could go to Cuba after researching your symptoms online so that way you could get your scripts for next to nothing. Or turning your old molded bread into your own penicillin?This was truly a pathetic story. It goes beyond sad - it's simply pathetic. And yes, I have a living will. Do you? I would seriously suggest it. It doesn't take an attorney. Just knowing me - and then two witnesses not associated with the will - and a notary. And we're not talking division of property - we're talking what happens if you can't speak for yourself. George W. signed into law, since this isn't England, in 1999 this law the Texas Advance Directives or Texas Futile Care Law. It offers the staff and hospital immunity under conditions of ceasing life saving care without an Advance Directive, AKA living will, if the family is giving written information concerning hospital policy on the ethics process, 48 hours notice and invited to participate in the process. They can consult their own medical specialists or legal advisers. The ethics consultations process must provide a written report to the family of the review. If the ethics consultation process fails to resolve the dispute the hospital working with the family must try to arrange a transfer to another physician and institution who are willing to give treatment requested by the family and refused by the current team. If after 10 days, nobody can be found the hospital and doctor may withhold or withdraw treatment that has been determined to be useless. The people who disagree with the appeal may be relevant state court and ask the judge to grant an extension of time before the treatment is withdrawn. This extension can only be granted only if the judge determines that there is a reasonable likelihood of finding a willing provider of the disputed treatment if more time is granted. If either the family does not seek an extension or the judge fails to grant one, futile treatment may be cancelled by the treatment team with immunity from civil or criminal prosecution. From what I gather, this was signed into federal law shortly after he became president. However, taking it to the point to allowing yourself to commit suicide - we are either at one extreme or another. We're either killing people too soon - or dragging it out to the point of causing them agony. Where's the in between?